Meltdown/Shutdown Recovery
When people are pushed past our sensory limits, we experience overstimulation. For neurodivergent folks, especially Autistic people, excessive overstimulation can lead to a meltdown or a shutdown. Below, I’ve adapted a guide for self-care before, during, and after one of these distressing events.
Shutdown: Emotional/physical/sensory overwhelm resulting in an intense internal response, and external freeze response: difficulty or inability to speak, move, and in many cases difficulty or inability to think clearly.
Meltdown: Emotional/physical/sensory overwhelm resulting in an intense internal and external response. This often involves an inability to “pull it together” in the way the neurotypical world can often expect of us. Meltdowns are sometimes incorrectly perceived by others as a “tantrum.”
What meltdowns look like:
Meltdowns may look very different from person to person. This can present as punching walls, breaking down in tears, screaming and/or yelling out ‘no’, ‘help’, ‘please’, etc. Can also look like bursts of suicidal thinking/feelings that come on very suddenly when you’re overstimulated, overtired, or generally at capacity. This can also mean lashing out or snapping at others around you or even at objects (think: ‘stupid lamp, getting in my way’).
More regular shutdowns and meltdowns not only make it harder for you in the moment of the shutdown or meltdown, but much like any stressor, can leave you feeling drained, ‘out of it’, and less capable of doing your regular tasks than before the meltdown/shut down.
This can also mean you are MORE likely to have another shutdown or meltdown if you have recently had one, especially if the pressures that caused the original shutdown or meltdown do not relinquish.
Some ways to care for yourself before, during, and after:
Before
General efforts to manage burnout by making sure our needs are met can be very helpful in preventing meltdowns and shutdowns. Resting and making sure to have accommodations in place will help reduce the frequency of, but likely not eliminate, shutdowns and meltdowns.
Identifying triggers, identifying and using coping tools that are specific to you and your needs, knowing what you need from others, and noting helpful and unhelpful patterns you can fall into during meltdowns/shutdowns can all be useful in reducing both the frequency and intensity of those events.
Communication: identifying ways to communicate your needs (if at all possible) during meltdowns and shutdowns in advance. This might include pointing, short words or phrases you have practiced beforehand, sign, hand signals, typing stuff out, etc. that your support system is aware of/familiar with.
Have some go-to comforts set up for yourself. Think: easy-to-eat snacks that don’t require refrigeration on your bedside table, a drinking vessel with a straw or lid so if your hands are shaking you can still get some fluids in you, go-to breathing techniques or affirmations, etc.
During
Safety & harm reduction: put things in place to reduce self-harming or other-harming behaviors. Think: punching a pillow in place of your legs, keeping frozen oranges in your freezer to hold onto with bare hands, knowing how to take space for yourself if needed.
Set up supports beforehand around communication and what you want from those around you.
Perhaps most importantly… COME BACK TO YOUR BODY:
o Vagus nerve exercises: humming, voo breathing, singing, massaging your own neck/throat.
o Holotropic Breathwork: specific type of breathing that floods your brain with extra oxygen to help you feel some physical and mental release (please check to see if this is a good fit for you if you have a heart or lung condition).
o Small, non-rigid movements to remind yourself of body control (think: pretending you are a mermaid and making slow, gentle swimming-like movements).
o Frozen orange: keep oranges in the freezer, and take one out when needed, allowing it to slowly defrost in your hands. The orange will thaw (which is highly stimulating, but cannot hurt you), and the orange smell will increase as it defrosts, helping you come back into the present moment.
o Sing or scream along to songs.
o Weighted supports (stuffed animals, hoodies, blankets).
o Use stims to self-soothe (think: rocking, doodling, tapping).
After
Comfort foods, comfort shows/movies, hydration, alone time or cuddles with animals, & self-compassion.
Sensory rest: allow yourself to explore what each sense is needing (think: burn your favorite scented candle, set up your ideal lighting dimness [I highly recommend getting Bluetooth bulbs so you can pick out your color-of-the-moment], look at something soothing like art or pets, find just the right temperature, wear your comfiest, non-restrictive clothing, etc.)
Normalize that this happens when you are overwhelmed, and you’re not alone.
Do not force yourself to understand the “why” or “what went wrong,” unless you find that helpful once you are more grounded.
Lean on your support system and/or pull from self-compassion as much as possible
Here are some helpful self-compassion writing exercises and meditations.
Expect less of yourself, and DO LESS than you usually would.
Long term
Notice where you can make accommodations for yourself in your life, whether this is at work, in social settings, or in your own space.
Find ways to incorporate sensory rest, and ways to regularly get into flow states.
Identify your sensory needs, and meet your needs as often as possible.
Practice reaching out for support or connection before things get really bad.
Create structure for your days that includes connection, rest, and things that fill your cup.
And as always, practice self-compassion and curiosity!
